Inspired by Jon Townsend’s “Development is Not Winning”
“This mindset fosters a culture of blame and insecurity. Players conditioned to seek external validation often mirror their coaches’ behavior, shifting blame onto teammates in the same way their coaches may blame them.”
—Jon Townsend, Development is Not Winning
Jon Townsend’s recent article stopped me mid-scroll.
As someone who has spent years navigating the uncomfortable space between pushing limits and finding purpose, his words cut deep. I’ve always admired his clarity when it comes to growth and development—and this piece was no exception.
Jon was talking about youth sports. But the message hits harder when you realize how many of us—as adults—are still carrying the mindset he’s challenging.
Most of us weren’t raised with development as the goal. We were taught to win. To achieve. To perform for approval. To fear failure. And to believe our value was tied to external results.
We don’t grow out of that thinking. We carry it into our jobs, our relationships, and the way we parent, lead, and live.
The Winning Disease
“Winning is everything” sounds motivational—until it isn’t.
It becomes the lens we use to judge others and ourselves. It becomes the reason we hide our insecurities, avoid new challenges, or refuse to ask for help. And when it goes unchecked, it fosters a culture of blame, burnout, and insecurity. We mirror the same behaviors Jon described in young players—deflection, self-doubt, and obsession with validation—except now we’re doing it in conference rooms and family dynamics instead of on soccer fields.
So, what do we do with that?
We start unlearning.
From Accountability to Insight: How Legend of the Death Race Evolved
Legend of the Death Race started as a blog. Nothing fancy—just a space where I could share my training journey as I prepared for one of the hardest endurance events out there. I used it to stay accountable, to document the struggle, to process the ups and downs in real time.
Then the race happened—and I wrote about it in excruciating detail. The physical grind, the mental unraveling, the breakthrough moments buried under layers of doubt and fatigue. At some point, someone said, “You should turn this into a book.”
Since then, Legend of the Death Race has grown into something more: a platform to reflect on what I’ve learned—not just from the Death Race, but from directing endurance events, coaching others, and confronting the myths we carry about strength, success, and self-worth.
Because the real lesson is this: it was never about winning the race. It was about who I became in the process. And I believe that’s true for all of us.
We just need space—and permission—to stop performing and start growing.
Rewriting the Rules: A Mindset Shift for Grown-Ups
If you grew up believing that achievement equals worth, here’s what it might look like to rewrite that narrative:
- From Performance to Process: Let go of the idea that the outcome defines you. Focus on the work, the effort, and the person you’re becoming through it.
- From Comparison to Curiosity: Your path isn’t supposed to look like anyone else’s. Stay curious about your own evolution.
- From Blame to Ownership: Growth requires responsibility—not shame. Own your part and use it to fuel change.
- From Shame to Compassion: Struggling doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. Give yourself the grace to learn.
What If We Taught This to Adults?
Imagine if we taught this mindset not just to kids, but to grown-ups.
Imagine if development—not just achievement—was valued in the workplace. In parenting. In leadership. In our own inner dialogue.
That shift doesn’t happen overnight. It takes intention, humility, and often, a whole lot of discomfort. But it’s worth it.
Because the scoreboard will never stop moving. But growth? That’s yours to own.
A Quick Note on Jon
Before I wrap this up, I want to take a moment to acknowledge Jon Townsend—the author of the article that inspired this reflection.
Jon and I go way back. We’ve been friends since high school, bonded over running, writing, and plenty of shared challenges. He was the editor of both my book and the early Legend of the Death Race blog posts, and has played a huge role in helping me find and refine my voice as a writer.
We even worked together at Spartan for a time—he’s someone I’ve trusted with some of my most personal work, and he’s also contributed to writings for Joe De Sena and the Spartan brand.
I’m incredibly grateful for his friendship, his guidance, and the thought-provoking work he continues to put into the world.
Final Thought
If Jon’s article lit a fire in you the way it did for me—let it burn. Let it burn down the old beliefs that told you your value was in being the best, the fastest, the most impressive.
And let something better rise in its place: resilience. Curiosity. Grit. Compassion.
Ownership.
Because growth doesn’t happen when we blame others. It happens when we take responsibility—not just for our actions, but for our mindset.
If you want to dig deeper into that idea, I highly recommend Extreme Ownership by Jocko Willink. It’s one of the most direct and powerful books I’ve read on personal accountability and leadership. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about owning your role in every situation and choosing to lead yourself first.
You’re not too late to start developing. You’re just in the second half—and now you know the rules were never the point.
Further Reading:
Development is Not Winning – by Jon Townsend